


The Morning After

by itslaurenhun



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Episode: s03e06 3XK, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Mandy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 03:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11546241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itslaurenhun/pseuds/itslaurenhun
Summary: The morning after Mandy slept over with Lip at the group home she returns to a quiet Milkovich house. Which prompts Mandy to her first question: What the fuck did Mickey do the night before? Set in 3x06, without the scene that will forever live in infamy.





	The Morning After

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic guys :)Tell me what you think of it.
> 
> Set in 3x06 as if Terry never walks in. I know there are plenty of other fics out there similar to this but I just couldn't help myself! It's Mandy's POV, because why not?

It was 9:37 AM when Mandy left the group home and started walking back home. She had just spent the night together with Lip, who had sneaked her into a private room to fuck and fall asleep together in. Although her back slightly hurt from lying on the floor beside Lip all night, she had no regrets about it and if she was completely honest with herself, she would do it every night if it meant that she could be with Lip instead of being stuck in her shitty house with her brothers and Terry.

  
She was walking home in the chilly Chicago morning air when she remembered that her actual favorite Gallagher also snuck out to be with someone, that Gallagher being Ian. For the past few weeks she had noticed something different about Ian, about the way he smiled and laughed, a light in his eyes she hadn’t seen in a long time. She had always wished that Ian would be her Gallagher in every way, not just her platonic gay best friend but something more. She knew that fucking his brother wasn’t the smartest idea, but after being around Lip she realized that maybe Ian wasn’t the only one from this shit hole that could amount to something. Lip was smart. Not in the street smart sorta way but a whole nother level of smart, smarts that transcended all the bullshit in this neighborhood that always seemed to surround her.

  
It was something that silently gnawed away at her, that Lip who was the genius and who had a fuckin 4.6 GPA and could build a robot that melted shit with lasers had a clear shot of getting out of this place, of living up to his evident potential and become something while Mandy fuckin’ Milkovich was just another hoodrat or neighborhood slut that brought him down. She almost wished he wasn’t a genius; Lip could get any girl he wanted because of the gift between his ears but yet he continues to slum around here, slacking off and not giving a shit whether he gets out or not.

She knows she likes Lip, maybe even loves him in a way completely different from the way she loves Ian. Loving Ian just comes natural to her, as easy as the breeze brushing past her as she makes her way back home. Ian is the only person Mandy can completely be herself with without worrying about judgment or slut shaming or let downs. Ian was always there for her, never asking for anything in return and always being by her side and letting her bitch about her day or the shit her brothers pulled or her dad’s bullshit or anything. She wishes Ian wasn’t gay; she will always believe that his beautiful face and amazing body are a waste if she can’t be the one to enjoy it.

Yet another thing gnawing at her was Ian and his sneaking around and his obvious feelings for this special mystery guy. This change in behavior hadn’t gone unnoticed to Mandy, who wishes he would just let up and reveal his identity. She didn’t understand why he had an issue with telling her about this guy, since he was eager to tell her all about fucking Kash when he was married with kids and the same with Ned. If he was comfortable telling her about these two older closeted dudes, then why should this guy be any different? If anything, she reasoned, he should be even more eager to tell her who he is, since clearly his feelings for this guy are way more than what he felt for Kash or Ned. She was hesitant at first to tell Ian about her and Lip, but it was understandable considering Lip was Ian’s brother. If she could tell Ian about fucking his brother, why should it be so hard for Ian to tell her about a guy she doesn’t even know?

* * *

 

Making her way up the steps of the Milkovich house, Mandy decides yet again to hold off these lingering thoughts and settle in again. As she opens her front door, she sees the usual cluttered mess in her living room, with beer cans lying on the floor, a bong on the side table and a pair of boxers on the couch. She shrugs this off as normal and makes her way into the kitchen to check to see if there’s any food left in the fridge and pantry. About a minute of searching for food and she settles for slightly stale Captain Crunch and moves her way over to the couch after pouring herself a bowl. She turns on the T.V. and puts on a rerun of 16 and Pregnant while chuckling slightly to the ridiculousness of the show. As she finishes up her bowl and mutes the television during a commercial break she realizes that their house is unusually quiet. She knows that it’s still early in the morning, but she isn’t used to quiet in the Milkovich home. There’s always someone cursing or banging or fucking something up, there’s always someone giving her a headache or causing her frustration, even when Terry goes back to prison for another visit.

  
She recalls from the day before Mickey asking her, rather nonchalantly, if she could fuck off for the night so that he could have the free house. She hadn’t thought much of it then, but now that she thinks of it, she doesn’t really know why he asked for the house. She figured it must have been him using it for another drug deal, but then, why would he need the house for that? Ian was always complaining to Mandy about Mickey using the Kash & Grab as another spot for him to do a dealing. Maybe Mickey just wanted the house so that he could invite a friend over. She thinks it over, trying to convince herself that yeah, maybe he just wanted to hang with a friend. But then she asks herself, _since when does Mickey have a friend?_

  
 Mickey wasn’t the type of person that people just befriended, Mandy knows, since he’s even more intimidating and closed off than Mandy. She knew her brother better than anyone else, and Mandy knew that the only person that Mickey could even slightly consider a friend was Ian. But yet, Mandy knew they weren’t so much friends as they were two people who work together occasionally. It still surprised Mandy to this day that Ian hadn’t run into conflict with Mickey over his sexuality, since Mandy knew that although Ian wasn’t effeminate or obviously gay, he was more sensitive than any guy Mandy has ever known and he wasn’t ever ashamed of expressing his likes and attraction to men. She was grateful that Mickey hadn’t pulled any shit with Ian, because Mandy knew that Mickey could fuck up her relationship with Ian with his battered fists and harsh words.

  
After ruling out friend, Mandy concludes that Mickey must’ve invited a girl over to the house. While Mandy had fortunately never encountered Mickey fucking another girl before, she knew that he probably kept that shit private, since she knew from what Ian and her brothers said that Mickey likes to fuck ugly fat chicks. She shudders in thought of it, but the confusion creeps into her brain again when she thinks about Mickey inviting a chick over for the night. _Since when did Mickey ever stay over with a girl?_ Mandy knew that alike her other brothers, Mickey was only about fucking and leaving, never staying long after getting just what every other guy wanted from a girl. She racks her mind trying to think of Mickey ever mentioning a girl before, or any other relationship that would warrant staying over for the night.

  
Mickey would never be that type of guy to have a real relationship with anyone, of having a girlfriend or expressing any feelings other than anger and annoyance. She does, however, recall the difference in Mickey after his second release from juvie not too long ago. He had started showering and taking an effort in his appearance, as well as staying out later instead of staying at home drinking and smoking weed. Mickey did seem happier than he had in a long time, probably since before their mother passed away. She had previously reasoned that he was happy because of his release from juvie as well as getting a job to get his probation officer off his back. But there was still something she couldn’t put her finger on, something that had shifted in Mickey that was an actual improvement considering him and Mandy hadn’t gotten along this well in her whole life.

  
Aside from Ian, Mandy could honestly say that Mickey was one of her closest friends, someone who she could count on and laugh and fool around with while equally giving each other shit for the dumbest things. Mickey was a much bigger asshole than Ian, sure, but he was always her protector. When Ian wasn’t around, Mickey was the only other person she could bitch to who wouldn’t judge her or make her regret keeping a close confidence with. He was always there to make Mandy feel stronger, like a real Milkovich, unlike the Gallaghers, who all relied on and helped each other out. Mandy could sense this change in Mickey more so than any other person, which made her wonder who or what brought this change about?

  
As she grew more and more curious, Mandy crept over to Mickey’s bedroom, telling herself that if she was caught snooping or fucking around, she would just feign having difficulty making it to the bathroom. She creeps into his room as quietly as she can, passing the **STAY THE FUCK OUT** sign and heading past his bed to the bathroom. Before reaching there, however, she peeks over his bed to see if there’s a girl in there. She notices a lump in the shape of a body lying on the outer side of the bed beside Mickey, completely covered beneath the blanket while Mickey, back pressed against the wall, face and shoulders slightly visible, hides   the rest of his body under the covers while he snores quietly with an unguarded expression on his face. She realizes that it’s a bit creepy of her to be staring down at her brother and some chick, so she moves into the bathroom swiftly figuring she should probably go to the bathroom before they wake up. She finishes quietly and heads out his bedroom again while casting another glance at the bed, the two bodies having not moved an inch.

  
She waits for a while in the living room, becoming distracted by the television, when she hears movement coming from Mickey’s room. She tries not to be nosy and eavesdrop on anything going on, but she can’t pretend that she’s not curious about this girl staying in Mickey’s room. Maybe they just got really fucked up last night and passed out together on Mickey’s bed, she reasoned. Mandy knows for a fact that Mickey wouldn’t willingly let some chick just sleep together with him, in his bed for fuck’s sake, where someone could just walk in at anytime and say something. _Or would he?_

The dramatic music plays out on the television, and when Mandy lowers the volume a little bit to hear the interaction in Mickey’s bedroom, she hears it.

 

     A fucking giggle.

 

And this noise wouldn’t have stumped Mandy if it weren’t for the fact that in all 16 years of her life, she had never heard Mickey utter a sound even remotely similar to this carefree, fucking childlike giggle that emanates from his bedroom. 

 

    _Un. Fucking. Believable_. 

 

Mandy had witnessed Mickey when he was stupidly drunk, or when he was high as a goddamn kite, and she swore her ears deceived her when yet again, she heard it.

 

     More giggling.

 

And as much as this might’ve thrown Mandy off, it wasn’t until she started hearing another voice coming from the bedroom that had her starting. It was a familiar sound, not quite feminine or high pitched, but a bit boyish and giggly and sounding as if a young child had just woke up on Christmas day. Quietly and stealthily, Mandy gets herself off the couch and heads back over to Mickey’s door when she peeks in and sees what she never would’ve expected in a million years.

 

     Mickey. Ian. Mickey and Ian. Mickey and Ian in Mickey’s bed. Mickey underneath Ian. Ian straddling Mickey.

 

_What. The. Actual. FUCK?_

 

And as bad as it was as Mandy’s brain just started convulsing, it wasn’t until Ian smirked, tilted his head down and reached Mickey’s halfway until their lips touched in a shockingly sweet kiss that Mandy started gasping for much needed oxygen.

  
 Mickey brought his hands up from under the covers, bringing one to rest against Ian’s cheek while the other grasped the back of his neck and started nestling into Ian’s buzzed cut hair. Ian smiled and groaned into the kiss before pulling back, much to Mickey’s annoyance.

 

“Morning Mick.” Ian said, in a light and teasing tone while he tossed a small smile down at Mickey, who stared up at him with a frown, but with eyes that Mandy couldn’t even deny were glowing.

 

“Gallagher.” Mickey huffed out, still lying underneath Ian before sliding one hand down Ian’s arm, the other still softly rubbing Ian’s cheek.

 

“You kept talking in your sleep Mick. Never woulda pegged you as chatty, but then again, I know you were just groaning my name. Can’t say I blame ya,” Ian said cheekily, before Mickey lightly smacked Ian with the hand he was stroking his cheek with.

 

“Fuck off firecrotch. Kept trying to snuggle up to me like I’m some kinda fuckin’ teddy bear. I coulda fuckin’ kicked you off the bed last night, you’re fucking welcome.”

 

“Aw Mick come on. You know you like bein’ all warm and cozy next to me. ‘Sides, your heat fuckin’ turned off here and it was cold as shit last night.” Ian took his leg off of Mickey, moving to lay on his back side by side next to him.

 

“Yeah well. Got too much other shit to pay for first. Like that good shit we smoked last night. I can still feel it.” Mickey chuckled, glancing over at Ian who looked back at him, both smiling goofily for another moment before Mickey sat up slightly on his bed.

 

“I’m fuckin’ hungry. You hungry Gallagher? I don’t think we got pancakes but there’s definitely some eggs I could make, y’know, if you’re hungry.” Mickey said hesitantly, like there was something intimate about making scrambled eggs.

 

“Sure Mick. I need something after all that working out last night.” Ian winked and then smirked, glancing at Mickey once more before turning to get up off the bed.

 

As this interaction played out, they were completely unaware of Mandy’s presence behind the door, or the quiet gasps she let out after seeing them together in this alarming position. Mandy quickly walked back to her room and quietly shut the door just as the boys left Mickey’s bedroom.

Both boys were wearing their boxers and nothing else, Mickey having to throw on another pair after leaving his other pair behind on the couch the night before. Mickey heads into the kitchen while Ian makes his way and sits down on the couch while turning to watch an episode of My Strange Addiction. After making two plates of scrambled eggs and slightly burnt toast and drowning his own food in ketchup, he makes his way over to the couch and gives Ian a plate. Mandy creeps her door open to get a better view of them in the living room while trying to subtly stick her neck out to listen to what they’re saying.

“This show’s fuckin weird Gallagher. Why the fuck are people so weird? Who the fuck likes to eat cat food?” Ian chuckles as Mickey says this before leaning slightly to lay his head down on Mickey’s shoulder affectionately. Mickey scoffs and glances down at Ian but doesn’t make any advance to shrug him off.

 

“Y’know Mick, you got a strange addiction too.” Ian looks up at Mickey, a teasing glint behind his eyes.

 

“Oh really Army. Strange addiction huh? Betcha gonna say I’m addicted to dick, yeah?”

 

“Well no doubt about that Mick. I was just thinkin Snickers and Steven Seagal. Also slim jims. But more importantly my slim jim,” Ian laughs, lifting his head of off Mickey’s shoulder before putting one of his legs on the other side of Mickey’s waist, straddling him for the second time that morning while effectively stunning Mandy again.

 

She sees them begin to kiss again, Mickey bringing one hand up behind Ian’s neck, the other snaking around his waist while Ian grabs both sides of Mickey’s face with his hands. Their kisses looked deliberately slow, lingering more than a chaste kiss would be considered. She hears one of them groan into the other’s mouth, and although one side of her wanted to scream at the top of her lungs and announce her presence, the other, more curious side of Mandy wanted to see with her own eyes what has evidently been hidden so greatly by these two young men for God knows how long.

 

They continue to make out for what feels like ages to Mandy, who was shocked and honestly a bit jealous of her brother for being the one to be with Ian in that way. Gross, Mandy thought, what the fuck am I thinking? Am I jealous of my newly discovered gay brother? She sees Mickey begin to pull Ian’s boxers down and before she could get any sight of her best friend’s dick, she jerks her head back into her room and quietly sits down on her bed.

 

      _Oh my God_ , Mandy thinks, _Mickey… gay? How the fuck did I not realize this before? How did I not realize his thing with Ian? How did I not realize that he was Ian’s secret guy? And when the fuck did this start going on?_

     

Mandy’s mind titters back and forth like a tennis ball being hit from one side to other, trying to rack her brain for any hints either of the boys dropped that would’ve revealed that they were fucking. _Well, Ian first mentioned this guy while he was still sorta fucking Kash, so maybe it was around then_ , Mandy thought. _But Mickey was still so gross and dirty. What the fuck did Ian see in him then?_ Mickey had gone around the neighborhood terrorizing Ian for Mandy’s sake, but then after Mandy told Mickey to cool it, when did this whole thing change? _Maybe he realized Ian was gay after I told him to stop hunting Ian. Why else would a guy not want to have sex with me? Maybe he caught Ian and Kash fucking and decided to rob the store to piss them off._ Mandy thinks back to when Ian was upset after his secret guy left him again, right before he started fucking Ned.

 

_Oh my god_ , Mandy thought, _I’m so fuckin’ stupid_.

 

Mickey had just went back to juvie again for punching some cop, which at the time didn’t set off any alarms to Mandy, who was used to all the bullshit and dumbass things her brothers did, especially shit that landed them in legal trouble. _Of course it was him_ , she thought, _of course Ian couldn’t tell me who this guy was_.

While thinking this over she hears more laughing coming from the living room instead of the muffled groans she heard previously. She sticks her head out slowly and cautiously, bracing herself to see some weird kinky shit or them fucking on the couch. Instead, she sees Ian again, in his boxers, moving to stand up while Mickey is still in the same position on the couch as before. She sees Ian lean down to give Mickey a small kiss on his lips, before sighing and moving around the room in what she thinks is in search to find his other clothing.

 

 “Sorry Mick, if I don’t leave now the dick at the group home will realize I’ve been gone. I told Lip to think of an excuse but Lip’s actually a shitty liar so,” Ian finds his aforementioned shirt and socks before putting them on and glancing back at Mickey. He walks back over to Mickey who appears to be silent but contemplating something, Mandy believes, even though she can’t see his face from her position. Mickey then leans across the couch to grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, lighting one up and inhaling before passing it to Ian who is now standing over him.

 

“See ya at Kash & Grab then, yeah?” Mickey says, standing up next to Ian and bringing the cigarette back to his lips. He exhales the smoke into Ian’s face before grinning in a way that Mandy has seen before but not frequently enough.

 

“If you decide to show up again, yeah,” Ian says teasingly before lightly shoving Mickey’s shoulder. Mickey scoffs as Ian turns to leave, but before he starts walking out Mandy sees Mickey tap Ian’s hand lightly, which makes Ian turn around to him in mild confusion.

 

“Yeah-”

 

Before Ian can say anything else, Mickey moves forward, tipping his head up and bringing a hand quickly to Ian’s cheek before lightly pressing their lips together. Mickey’s other hand moves to Ian’s hip, grasping it firmly while they both start making quiet sounds of lips against lips in the now quiet living room. Mandy watches intently while Mickey continues to kiss Ian, slowly, drawing it out until they can’t breathe any longer. She sees them separate their lips but Mickey keeps them close again to Ian’s, mingling their breaths together while he continues to hold Ian’s face in his hand.

 

“Just…. Thanks for, y’know, coming over. I had fun… y’know, with you. Together.” Mandy sees Mickey’s hesitance in his features when he says this, but he looks up and into Ian’s eyes while continuing to hold him close.

 

“Yeah Mick, I had fun too. Thanks for letting me stay over. If you wanna, I dunno, hang out after work today, that’d be great-”

 

 “Yeah, uh, my dad and brother’s are probably gonna be gone for another couple days so, y’know, you could come back tonight, y’know, if you’re not busy or anything-”

 

“Yeah , that uh, that sounds great, Mick. Sure.”

 

“Aight Gallagher, uh. Ian. I’ll see ya at work then.” Mickey says, with a hint of trepidation in his voice, but with a small upturn of a smile gracing his features that made him look younger than Mandy had seen him recently, younger than when he went to juvie for the first time. _Younger than before he started this thing with Ian_.

 

She watches from afar as Ian opens and then shuts their living room door while Mickey lingers a bit longer where they were just standing together. She sees Mickey turn around, beginning to pick up some of the clutter in their living room with a small blush in his cheeks and a small smile still etched on his face. She can’t believe how different he looks, how different he sounded when talking to Ian, and the fact that he called him Ian and actually said _thank you_ had completely baffled Mandy.

As she stood in her room, she tried to imagine them together. Not as how they were before but as in _together_ together, like a couple. She struggles to think of Mickey being anything but rude and angry and violent instead of someone caring and gentle and loving like Ian. She tries to think of any signs that could’ve tipped Mickey off as being gay. It was totally unexpected to Mandy, the person that thought she knew her brother better than anyone in the whole world. She knew that Mickey was much more quiet and secretive than her other brothers, and would never really talk about fucking girls around the neighborhood. She remembers her brothers joking about him and fat Angie Zago, but then again, it wasn’t Mickey who was the one bringing any of these things up. She always knew Mickey was more cagey than the rest of her brothers, but it hadn’t occurred until now that Mickey might’ve had a reason for all his unwarranted anger and frustration.

A bit of sadness and anger welled in Mandy as she realized just how hard it must’ve been for Mickey growing up all this time. Her anger began to swell at the thought of Terry, the most homophobic person she knew which said a lot considering they didn’t grow up in a neighborhood where rainbow flags were all welcome. The anger that she still had for Terry increased almost tenfold, so much so that she started to visibly shake in frustration.

 

_How has Mickey been able to keep this a secret for so long? And more importantly to Mandy, why didn’t he just tell me? Did he think I would be angry? Did he think I would run off and tell everyone I knew? Did he think I wouldn’t still love him?_

 

She understood that if Mickey told her, she would press him about his relationship with Ian and pressure Mickey to never do anything that would fuck up their friendship. She knew it probably was hard for Mickey to even accept that he was gay in this neighborhood, let alone confess to someone else, his sister especially, that he was in a somewhat relationship with another guy, her best friend. She considered all that Mickey had gone through to get to this point with Ian, her Ian, sweet and kind and beautiful Ian.

She crept back to see what Mickey had been up to, and before she could even think, she sees Mickey walk right past her room, his eyes flicking across the crack between her door and their eyes landing directly on each other.

 

_Fuck_ , Mandy internally says. _FUCK!_

 

They both freeze from where they’re standing, both looking like deer stuck in the headlights. After what feels like hours, Mandy slowly opens her door wide open, stepping out a bit and standing up a little straighter. Mickey continues to stand there, mouth slightly open, with a stunned look in his widened eyes. She can’t even tell if he’s breathing, he looks so strucked.

 

“Uh… hey Mickey."

 

“......”

 

“I uh, smell eggs and toast. Did’ya make something to eat? I’m kinda starving over here.” She forces a chuckle, trying to remain calm while staring back at Mickey like she was just caught murdering an innocent puppy.

 

“Listen, Mick. About this morning-” She starts, only to get cut off by Mickey running into his bedroom and slamming his door soundly.

 

_Well shit_ , Mandy thought, _guess we’re doing this the hard way._ She slowly walks over to his room and knocks softly on his door, hearing the sound of things being tossed onto the floor and feet pacing quickly across the room.

 

“Mick… open up. Please. I just wanna talk s’all. Just.. open the door.” She hears the movement slowly die down until there is only silence again. She continues.

 

“Mickey please I’m not gonna do or say anything I swear. I just wanna talk to you. Can you open the fuckin door?” She tries not to sound too pleading, but she has honestly never been more nervous to have a conversation like this in her entire life.

 

She hears silence for a few moments before the bedroom door clicks and slowly opens. Mandy then sees Mickey standing there, looking back at her with apprehension evident in his features. His eyes glance at her for a split second before he brings his finger to swipe at his mouth in that characteristic sorta way and he slowly makes his way over to sit on his bed. Mandy follows and sits next to him, leaving a small space between them as her hands remain restless together on her lap. Mickey just keeps his head down, not even daring to meet her eyes. Mandy then speaks.

 

“So.. you said you wanted the house to yourself last night right? I thought you said-”

 

“I know what I fuckin’ said to you yesterday, Mands. I told you, no, I asked you if you could leave me the house for the night. Alone. What the fuck did you not understand about that?” Mickey looked annoyed now, not necessarily aimed at her but moreso the situation she just placed them in.

 

“Well I thought you said you wanted the house for yourself. _Alone_. As in only you. And then I come in here this morning and I see-”

 

“Jesus fuck Mandy. I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. You didn’t see anything. Nothing happened. Why the fuck do you need to know about what I do when no one’s here?”

 

“Oh right. That’s it, right? Nothing happened,” Mandy says, looking at Mickey and daring him to meet her eyes. When he continues to look down at his lap she continues speaking.

 

“So it’s just nothing then? You fucking my best friend means nothing to you?”

 

“I didn’t-”

 

“Oh fuck off Mickey.” She scoffs weakly, looking down at Mickey with a twinge of sadness in her eyes.

 

“Seriously. For once in your life can you just stop it with the dodging. Can you just knock it off for once and fucking tell me the t-”

 

“I’m gay, Mandy.”

 

The air feels heavy, weighty against her shoulders. Her breathing becomes shallow, her heart beats against her chest, constricting her more. She continues to stare at Mickey, this time with him glancing back up, now daring to meet her eyes.

 

“I’m gay Mands. I uh, I always have been. Always known.” He confessed quietly, next to Mandy, separated from the rest of the world, the way they both know it has to be. He continues.

 

“When I was little, like, uh, 8 years old I think. I had a feeling. I didn’t see any girls the way I saw this kid. Scrawny little fuck. I knew it then. I just knew.”

 

Mandy’s eyes start to gloss over against her will, tears threatening to surface as she continues to stare at Mickey. She takes her right hand and places it over Mickey’s balled fist, for her sake more than his. He looks into her eyes, his own starting to cloud with unshed tears as well. He lets out a shaky laugh before saying more.

 

“Guess one of us had to be a fag. God just didn’t think we were fucked enough. Fuck. Terry Milkovich’s faggot son, yeah, my life’s just going so fuckin’ well.” Mandy hears him let out another shaky breath before she feels his tears dropping onto their clasped hands. She releases their hands and bring both of hers up to his face, tilting his chin and wiping them off his cheeks, looking past the streak marks and redness and into his crystal blue eyes.

 

“I love you Mickey. So fucking much. Fuck. You.. you know that right? I’ll always-” She stops mid sentence when the air in her lungs feel constricted and the pools of tears break like a dam through her ducts.

 

“I’ll always fuckin’ love you. I promise that. And our family, fucking Terry and everyone else can just fuck off. Seriously. Those that really fuckin’ love you won’t give a shit. Who needs those fuckers anyway? You got me, you got Ian, fuck, you probably got all those fuckin’ Gallaghers. They’d have a fuckin rainbow parade for him if he really wanted it. I know that ain't your fucking thing or whatever, but you don’t have to worry about me knowing. I won’t fuckin’ tell anyone, I swear to you. Okay?”

 

“Yeah Mands. I uh, I love you too. So much. I knew you’d never have a problem with it or anything. You’re like me, we’re uh, we’re different from all the others. You’re better than ‘em. Always have been. I’m just so fuckin’ sorry I never told you. I just-” He sniffles, trying to regain control again after the biggest display of emotions in his entire life.

 

“I just fuckin’ couldn’t. How could I ever tell anyone that? I couldn’t ever even tell myself. Even when this whole thing with Ian started, I never could just say the words. I know he wants to hear them. I wanna say a lot of fucking things to him, _for_ him, but I just can’t. I-”

 

“Yeah Mick. I know. It’s hard. So fucking hard. Especially around here. Especially for _you_. I don’t know how you kept it a secret for so long though, you made me feel like a fucking idiot this morning when I saw you two.”

 

Mickey laughed lightly at that, his sadness starting to seep out of his body. He rested his left hand on hers lightly and looked at her again.

 

“Yeah, I know we kept it a secret for long. M’sorry I never told you Mands. Really. Sometimes I really wanted to say, y’know, ‘Hey Mandy, I’m sorta fucking your fake boyfriend.’ Ian wanted us to at least tell you though. I told him I couldn’t let him, cause, I dunno, I thought you’d be really pissed if you found out. I’m kinda fuckin’ surprised that you’re not though.”

 

“I’m not pissed Mickey. Just a little sad s’all. You knew I was okay with Ian being gay right? I mean I am his beard for fucks sake.”

 

“Yeah, I know that. It’s just, I know you’re protective of him n’shit. He’s you’re like best fuckin friend or whatever. I didn’t want you to know just incase I fucked something up again.”

  
“How did this even happen Mickey? I mean one minute you’re chasing him around the neighborhood for attacking me and the next thing I know you guys are fucking. I must’ve missed something.” Mickey looked hesitant to answer her, but Mandy just tightened her grip around their hands, which gave him a little courage.

 

“It was uh, around the time after you called me and Colin and Jamie off of him. I kept going into Kash & Grab to steal shit. His fuckin’ towelheaded molester boss pulled a fucking gun on me. Dumbass. So I took the gun from him. Ian came over the house later that day. Poked me in the back with a fuckin’ crowbar when I was sleeping. He told me to give him the gun back. We started fuckin’ beatin each other up until I got on top of him on my bed. Must’ve felt my hard on. Whatever. Y’know the rest.”

 

“Oh my fuckin’ god Mickey,” Mandy said, letting out a little squeak before laughing harder than she had in a long ass fuckin time.

 

“Are you fuckin serious? How the fuck had I’d not known? And then all those days we would be hanging out, and then you’d come home and Ian would go to the bathroom for a long ass time, you guys would..?

 

“Ah shit, yeah. Uh, sorry bout that. S’kinda fucked up, y’know, when you were just in the other room but ah, yeah. We don’t have many places to y’know, hook up together or anything.”

 

“It uh, all added up to me this morning when I saw you two. Ian’s been talking about this secret guy for so long. I’d always ask him about it, about why he couldn’t tell me a name or anything, but I realize now why he couldn’t. I just couldn’t believe that guy was you.” Mandy looked expectedly at Mickey’s face for any sign of feeling. She was surprised when his eyes lightened and a slight blush tinged his cheeks.

 

“He ah, he said stuff about me? I mean, not about _me_ , but y’know..?

 

“Yeah, he ah, he said something bout’ how to tell if a guy likes you or not. He said he liked this guy, but he was pretty sure this guy hated him. I told him he could tell if the guy liked him if he got this look in his eye. I’m guessing that guy was you.”

 

"Fucking Gallagher.” Mickey chuckled, a small upturn of his lips threatening to break into a full blown smile. “He kept staring at me, so I asked him what the fuck he was looking at. He’s honestly a fucking creep, I’ll tell yah.” Mandy and Mickey both started laughing at that, honestly feeling happy for once in what felt like forever.

 

“Mick..I know you and Ian have been fucking for a while and all. It’s just-” Mandy pauses, not knowing how to convey what must be said, not knowing how to ask the questions she needs the answers to. She plays with their clasped hands between them, still mildly shocked that Mickey never pulled away. She glances back at Mickey’s face which was expectedly staring back at her.

 

“It’s just, I know Ian might’ve been fucking around with Ned and other guys and all while you were away, but I want you to know that he likes you. Like, a lot. I never seen him as happy as he is when he talks about you. Ned and all those guys, I don’t think he cares about them. Not as much as he cares about you. I just need to know if you’re serious or not. Like, I know I’m not his mother or anything but I’m his best fuckin’ friend. I need to know if you aren’t just fucking around with him. Ian’s _good_. Like, too good and kind for someone around here. So if you’re not gonna take it seriously then-”

 

“I wouldn’t have invited him over if I didn’t like him, Mandy.”

 

“Yeah, I know that. It’s just.. I know you don’t really do relationships. I mean, I know you couldn’t really just come out and be like, ‘ _okay guys, here’s Ian, my boyfriend’_ or whatever, but Ian’s sort’ve a romantic. He’s like..really romantic, okay? I know that’s not your thing but.. with Ian-”

 

“Y’know he was my first kiss? Ian… I’d only ever fucked chicks. Fucked a guy once. That was it. I’d never kissed anyone before. Ian, he.. wanted to kiss me, the first time we fucked. So I said no. Wouldn’t let him. Til’ a few days ago. I kissed him.”

 

Mandy watched as Mickey let out a breath he had been keeping in, until she saw a more calm and relaxed version of Mickey that she never knew existed. She was beyond shocked that he confessed this to her, but then again, today had been filled with surprises for both of them. What shocked her even more was when he continued.

 

“Never knew someone like Ian could see something in me. A fuckin Milkovich. When the fuck did Ian ever think it was a good idea to become involved with us? I know Ian’s.. good. Too good for this fuckin’ shithole. Planning on leaving to the army. I know he will. He’s always like fucking happy about some shit. Always seeing the bright side to everything. Always laughing and fucking smiling. Fucking Gallagher. They’re all pretty much like that. S’ides fuckin Frank and their fucked up mom. Fuck them. They don’t deserve their kids. Don’t deserve Ian.” As Mickey is saying this Mandy notices that he becomes increasingly angered, like Frank and Monica personally did something to him.

 

“Everyone’s parents are fucked up around here. When the fuck did any of us ever do something to them? Huh? Their parents left Fiona to take care of ALL of them. Six fucking kids. How fucked up is that? When did you or I ever do something to Mom? When did I ever do anything to fuckin Terry? Picked a fight being born, that’s fuckin what.”

 

After saying this, Mandy leaned forward and with both arms, she wrapped them around Mickey in a tight embrace. Mickey froze at first, still pretty foreign to affection, before easing up and wrapping his arms around her waist as she nuzzled her head into his collarbone. They both let out a breath, and after they hugged Mandy smirked before telling him she just had one more question about Ian.

 

“So.. I know you’re tough and a thug and all that. Ian’s pretty sensitive and all. But ah, do you fuck Ian up? Or does Ian ‘Fuck- U- Up’?” Mickey laughs before smacking her on the head.

 

_Yeah, Ian totally fucks Mickey up._


End file.
